Sunday, April 28, 2013

HAWMC Day 26: Pain Free Pass

Today's Day 26 task for WEGO Healths Health Activist writer's Challenge is to imagine a day either past or present that could be pain/worry free.

It's funny because when ever I think about pain I think about physical pain. When I thought about today's task I thought well sure I wish I was not in pain when it related to my lymphoma but had I not been in pain there is an extremely real chance that I would not be here to write this. Being in pain is what got me diagnosed so as far as that goes I would not change that at all. But then they asked about being worry free which is an entirely different kind of pain.

I would say that worry is probably what I suffer from the most. Worry about returning cancer or even developing a secondary cancer. Worrying about my fertility and if/when I will have children. Worrying about making sure I stay healthy and keep physically active. The list I am sure could go on and each one very generalized could be broken into many different sub categories.

But if I had to choose one day to be entirely pain/worry free I would choose...well in all honesty I would choose more than a day. You see my FAVORITE time of any year is Christmas time. I love the atmosphere, the general kindness of humankind, spending time with my family and friends, etc. So I would have to say that I would choose that during 2010. I had just finished my treatment mid November and although the worst part was over there was a long road ahead of me that I was not prepared for. There was worry about pending tests to see if I was cancer free, constant frustration of fatigue and no strength, and missing out on events because of these things. It is odd because I imagine what that would have been like to be pain/worry and know how great it would have been to really get into the spirit. But then again all these past events are what made me who I am today so I also don't want to give them up.

As for the future there is one thing I would like to be able to do and be worry free. I would like to leave my lymphoma in the past and not have it haunt me in every other medical issue I have. I would like to be able to have a test done and have to bother my oncologist because something abnormal came up (which is normal for me). I imagine it would be much easier to get through any other medical issue I have if this was not always a factor.

I guess I didn't really do this task the exact way it was intended but that is about the best I can do with it at this point.

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