Tuesday, November 22, 2011

'Tis The Season

Normally I am a very easy going person and as generous as I can be to just about anyone. I try to be really positive and not let too much get to me but there is one thing that really seems to be bothering. Last year was probably the hardest, most difficult year thus far in my life. Although I tend to make lite of the fact that I had cancer let's face it the truth is I HAD CANCER. No one ever wants to have to even think those words let alone have to hear/deal with them for months on end. It just so happens that mine was in the later part of the year so I missed half of Summer and all of Fall. Well I say missed but really I was just inside, either my house or the hospital for most of it so I consider that missed.
Aside from the physical aspects of cancer (treatment, being sick, etc) there is so much more that goes along with it. There were days where there was nothing more that I wanted more than to be back in my classroom with all my children. There were many reason's for that, 1.) because I missed them, 2.) Because my classroom was in utter chaos and was not being run the way to should and 3.) I needed the adult interaction as much as I needed the child interaction. There was also a huge finacial burden, being sick and not working actually costs you more than just not having a job, go figure. I was at a  loss for most of it, but some how managed to still be able to look on the bright and be positive about most things. Even to the point of just telling myself that I would be done and back to "normal" life soon enough.
So here is the thing that is really upsetting/frustrating me. I love where I work, I love my all my co-teachers and I found that for the most part they were very supportive of me during the whole cancer process. I recieved things to bring with to the hospital to keep me in good spirits, a close co-worker/friend made dinners for me, they even helped me keep my health insurance despite the fact I wasn't working. But this is what gets me, another co-worker of mine's spouse was diagnosed with cancer the beginningof last year. Having gone through it myself I knew a lot about it and could definitely relate to what was going one with them. They are still in the midst of everything, luckily at the moment they are completely cancer free!! However my co-worker has been unable to return to work due to the care she must provide until her husband had recovered more. But as a school there are things that have been done for them that weren't for me. They pushed staff and parents to attend a fundraiser for them earlier in the year (only one person from my school came to the one my friend and family had for me) In fact my director actually refused to ask parents to help make baskets for the raffle for mine as well. Then they have been collecting money and other staff have been doing things to help raise money for them. They even have gone so far as to make a Thanksgiving basket for them and put a giving tree up for them in our staff roomto help with Christmas.
Now please don't even for a second think that I believe this should not be happening. I 100% believe in helping people that need it and have gone about doing my own thing to help out her and her family while her husband is recovering. The thing that gets me is that last holiday season was the hardest for me. I had a hard time celebrating because there was constant worry about if I was better and figuring out how to fincially get through Christmas (cause there was no money!). I feel upset that nothin of this magnitude was done for me. We really could have used help putting together a Thanksgiving dinner or having people do fundraiders for me. I had $5,000 in medical bills alone let alone everything else that was past due because we didn't have the money to pay for it. It is almost a year later and we are still recovering from it and it will probably take a few more months.
I am grateful for everything I have, everything I have overcome and all the support I have and continue to recieve. It just makes you wonder what is different about a staff memebers husband who has cancer vs. and actual staff memeber?