I think most people would consider what I have been thinking about as a form of mid-life crisis, however 30 is not even close to my mid-life because I plan on living much longer than 60! I also don't really consider it a crisis either it is more of a cross road meaning I don't really know which direction to go because I want to go all directions!!
So I have been stuck in this thought that I started my life too late. Because of everything I have been through in the past few years I have made all these amazing discoveries about what I can actually do. I started making a list of everything I would like to at least try if not do on a regular basis. Here is the list:
Kayaking (both whitewater and sea/lake)
Backing packing through the mountains (No decisions on which mountain/s)
variety of road races
I am sure the list will just continue to get longer. But here is why I am at a cross road. First off I would really like to be able to have kayaking and skiing/snowboarding as a regular activity. However just thinking about how long it would take me to slowly buy all of the equipment for one or both is enough to make me turn and run away. Second learning both to begin with means I need lessons. I am ok with taking lessons for these as an adult. I can even begin to wrap my brain around the amount of money this has the potential to cost.
The reason I am at a cross road is time. Here I am 30 years old, which is by no means old but I feel like most of the things I want to start doing most people start doing when they are teenagers. Especially taking to people that do these things regularly or even as profession they started when they were very young.
So even though I am 30 I also know you are never too old to learn something new and do what you want. The reason I am so concerned with time or rather the timing is because at this point in my life I should be focusing more on "starting" my life in the sense of family. Someone recently asked if having children was even on my redar because I seemed to be having so much fun traveling, doing races, trying new adventures, etc. I know they meant it as an observation or even more as a positive comment but some how it made me feel like I was missing something or making the wrong desicion at this point in my life.
This would be the reason I am at a cross road. I am ultimately going to continue to try and do everything but I know I will have to make a choice for one eventually at least for some time and then these two world will eventually be able to co-exist agin.
I will gladly accept suggestions from anyone who has them about how to do everything haha!